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Outdated Tech: 8 Antique Technologies and Outdated Inventions

From iPhones to Xboxes, today’s biggest technological innovations are equal parts slick, shiny, and stylish. Housed in brushed metal and packing some serious technological power under the hood, the most popular devices of the 2000s are design masterpieces, offering users not just function and performance, but immense style and fashion.

But technology hasn’t always been this way. Just ten years ago, the most successful and impressive pieces of technology weren’t boasting intuitive touchscreens or flashy brushed exteriors. Black plastic was the norm, wood panelling the standard, and analog dials the accepted method of user control and operation.

These eight pieces of retro technology and outdated innovation may not be slick and stylish, but all are unique and at least somewhat usable. From semi-portable VHS recorders to pre-electricity air conditioning systems, these eight pieces of technology wouldn’t stand a chance at a modern industry conference, but each was responsible for changing the world of invention in its own way.

1. German Rocket Bicycles

 German Rocket Bicycles

Source: http://tinyurl.com/35j65ty

Herr Richter was a true innovator. The German engineer dedicated years to his rocket obsession, attempting to create personal transporters, rocket-powered bicycles, and some truly explosive pieces of family transportation. Before the Second World War brought his engineering efforts to an end, the retro innovator had created his most famous prototype: a rocket-powered single speed bicycle.

As impressive as it may be, the rocket-powered bicycle was a true disaster for personal safety. Test rides – for which Richter was always in the saddle – found the bike to be reasonably stable before fifty miles per hour, and disastrously unsafe at any higher speeds. Compounding the bike’s problems were rocket fuel issues; early rockets were prone to accidental explosions, leaving riders scorched and the bicycle seriously damaged.

2. The Stylophone

 The Stylophone

Source: http://tinyurl.com/3y353ot

When Brian Jarvis invented the Stylophone in 1967, he never expected it to become a runaway cult success. Fueled by the popularity of David Bowie’s first recordings and immensely popular amongst hippie music groups, the device took off and sold out upon its release.

Unfortunately, its popularity was short-lived. The Stylophone fell out of favor in the early 1970s, living on through experimental rock recordings but failing to sell as it once did. A 2007 revival brought the device back into the public’s eye, although in a slightly different format; modern stylophones recreate sound digitally, rather than the original’s analog sound creation.

3. Arizona ‘Air Conditioning’

 Arizona 'Air Conditioning bed with nurses

Source: http://tinyurl.com/2wectcv

Have you ever sat inside on a hot day, wondering how you’d survive without air conditioning? For residents of Arizona, the state’s gold rush days were marked by immense heat and few ways to keep cool. Ice fans melted too quickly in the summer heat, cold showers were an impossibility due to water shortages, and air conditioning had yet to be invented.

Residents fought the immense heat by dipping their nighttime sheets in cool water, sleeping through the night in damp cotton and enjoying relative comfort. The ‘wet blanket’ strategy also had some advantages for personal hygiene; insects and other desert creatures were unlikely to take up residence in a chilled piece of material, leaving residents free of bedbugs and other annoyances.

4. The Osborne 1 Computer

The Osborne 1 Computer

Source: http://tinyurl.com/32gwflb

The Osborne 1 was the world’s first ‘portable’ computer – a ten-kilo beast responsible for more back injuries and strained muscles than any other piece of PC technology. Priced at $1795 and boasting an impressive 64KB of RAM, the system was a relative bargain in the early days of computing, and a commercial success upon its release.

However, users debated the system’s portability, pointing to the 64KB specification as an indicator of weight rather than memory. While bulky, ugly, and barely usable next to today’s notebooks, the Osborne 1 was an innovative piece of technology for its time, and one of the most popular early computers.

5. The French ‘Strap-On’ Personal Helicopter

The French 'Strap-On' Personal Helicopter

Source: http://tinyurl.com/2venvcj

Had this early piece of French air technology been a success, it would have gone down in history as one of the most unsafe inventions of all time. Luckily, this early single-person helicopter failed to fly, leaving the personal helicopter market unsaturated and French accident statistics at acceptable levels.

Due to is lack of torque bar and secondary rotor, it’s likely that a quick flight in this single-rotor machine would have left the pilot with a twisted spine. Early tests revealed that the machine was beyond hope, leaving personal helicopters almost completely untested until the late 20th century.

6. The Cyclogyro

The Cyclogyro

Source: http://tinyurl.com/3889b5o

Luckily, this bizarre American invention never made it through early testing. Designed as a strange half-windmill half-plane contraption, the Cyclogyro was supposed to generate lift through a series of flywheels attached to each wing.

As many observers predicted, the Cyclogyro was completely unsuccessful. Early prototypes failed to make it into the air, often falling apart on the runway or failing to even distance themselves from the ground.

7. The JVC ‘Portable’ VHS Recorder

The JVC 'Portable' VHS Recorder

Source: http://tinyurl.com/397euen

Few decades have generated inventions as simultaneously important and ugly as the 1970s. This early JVC home video system was billed as a piece of portable technology, designed with intentions of allowing movie fans to share their collections with friends and enjoy the power of video wherever they may be.

Unfortunately, it didn’t quite succeed on the portability front. The JVC HR-4100’s considerable bulk and weight made it nearly impossible to carry, and the inclusion of a recording camera and headset made the device completely impractical for outdoor use. More popular today as a retrospective laugh than a piece of recording history, this early attempt at portable video was a complete failure.

8. The Vincent ‘Black Shadow’ Superbike

 The Vincent 'Black Shadow' Superbike

Source: http://tinyurl.com/36gwfp3

Unlike other early attempts at high-speed motorcycling, the Vincent Black Shadow was a true engineering triumph. Built around a 1000cc V-twin engine and boasting an at-the-time impressive power output of 55 horsepower, the Black Shadow was the world’s fasted bike upon its release, earning it the title of the world’s first superbike.

The Black Shadow’s 220km/h top speed may not be lightening quick by today’s standards, but the bike has lived on as an impressive piece of technology. Modern superbike manufacturers Triumph and Ducati still consider the Black Shadow a technological leader, building upon its V-twin engine design for their own high-speed sports models.

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